My children, now 17 and 12, are still sleeping.  I love this quiet time in the morning, and do hope my face does not look too obvious when they come  bounding in to greet me.  There is something about having my daily cup of coffee in the silence, that serves as my morning meditation.  Sure, it would be better if I were really meditating, but at least I am being quiet. 

Summers are changing around here.  For the first time, my kids are both so busy with their collective group of friends, that I no longer have to be the entertainment director, but now I am just the chauffeur and financier. Yesterday, for the first time, I allowed my daughter to pal around the Ranchos with her buddies, and yes, there were some boys.  I thought back on all the  times I have seen large groups of kids walking the neighborhood, and silently judged, wondering where their parents were.  Well, now it is daughter out in a pack of kids.  I have learned that anything I have ever judged, has come to pass for me.

My son went up to the Tahoe with a bunch of his teenage buddies, and I am sure bikinis were involved, and she was trolling along in the suburbs.  The day struck me profoundly, as I really understood how fast it is all going.  I breathed a huge sigh of relief when they were both back home under my roof and under my energetic wings.  I was exhausted from wondering where each of them were all day, the constant cell phone check ins, did they use sunscreen, did they drink water, did they eat anything with a living enzyme?

Mothering is hard work, and at some point, you just hope that all that guidance turns into self directed action on their part.  Today, I just hope maybe they will stay home, but I doubt it.  It is summer, and it is time to "hang out."  This is what they do now instead of play. 

I think I will have time for one more cup of coffee before they wake up.