Daily Cup of Passion
I am guessing if you have not read any previous blogs, you might be reading
this one. This one came to me as I was walking back from putting a volleyball
in the car to return, go figure.
After all the years of defending passion for the sake of passion, I am
finally understanding how destructive it can also be. I have read and read
about how attachment to passion is to be curbed, and I thought the writer must
certainly be as exciting as dry toast, devoid of that fire that is so fun to be
burned by. The fire, that amazing captivating, all encompassing ether of new
love and passion. Maybe this is on my mind because it is nearly spring and I
feel like I am coming out of seasonal and emotional hibernation? There is a new
energy, a shift, a feeling of wanting to run barefoot through a meadow, while
the man of my dreams chases me. I imagine this will pass by June, but for now,
I am drawing deep breaths, contemplating new adventures with a new attitude.
Can a relationship exist without passion? Can it last? These are the questions
that will always be asked, they are timeless, just like passion. Is it purely
chemical and will it always fade? For me it looks differently now. Passion is
now not just physical or chemical, it is soulful. It is about being heard,
understood and maybe even affirmed. Passion is great, but intimacy is better.
Intimacy, can continue to grow, when the initial passion fades. I think passion
is the force that pushes us towards each other, and intimacy is the glue that
keeps us there. Intimacy can be created anytime two people exchange feelings,
and those feelings are honored. These feelings do not even have to be agreed
on, just heard. Anytime two people can come together in the spirit of mutual
respect to hear the other, there is an oppotunity to create an even deeper
connection. This is a learned skill, and one that many people don’t have. They
are so filled with ego, defensiveness and fear, that they can not be an open
channel. This is not their fault, they are just not capable. My mistake has
been trying to change other people instead of making better decisions and
changing myself.
This morning it came to me, that as long as I stay attached to the passion,
how it takes me away from ME, how it feels so good to be captivated and swept
away, then the passion is in control, and will continually have to be
replicated. I hate reading about becoming disciplined about passion. I have
taken offense I guess, because I need/needed the lesson. Anytime we are
attached to something that has to be continually replaced, other than food water
and shelter, then we are indebted to that feeling. This is true of being
chemically altered in anyway, including that new passion that puts the sizzle in
our veins. Believe me, no one hates having to look at this more than I, but it
is a part of my story that has to be healed.
At Greek funerals they did not speak of achievements of the deceased, but of
their level of passion. This kind of passion is not to be confused with the kind
of passion that consumes us in the beginning of relationships. I cannot live
without passion, for the people I love, the way the air feels in the spring, the
way the rain sounds right now on my roof, the way a baby smiles at you, the way
the sun shines through fall leaves, the way my first cup of coffee tastes, the
way I feel when I see an old couple walking and still holding hands. I am
passionate about all of that, which is not to be confused with that new crazy
love passion, that always seems to fade. We can all only hope that when our
biology regains its composure, and we land on our feet, that intimacy replaces
that original fire. Although all fires go out eventually, except for the Olympic
torch, that what we have left, is a warm fireplace to sit around, while holding
hands, sharing our deepest fears and aspirations with the same person we
originally fell in love with.
My God, what is happening to me? I feel like Danielle Steel, and I think
hear the theme to “Love Story” in my head. I think I better go clean the garage
now.
I am guessing if you have not read any previous blogs, you might be reading
this one. This one came to me as I was walking back from putting a volleyball
in the car to return, go figure.
After all the years of defending passion for the sake of passion, I am
finally understanding how destructive it can also be. I have read and read
about how attachment to passion is to be curbed, and I thought the writer must
certainly be as exciting as dry toast, devoid of that fire that is so fun to be
burned by. The fire, that amazing captivating, all encompassing ether of new
love and passion. Maybe this is on my mind because it is nearly spring and I
feel like I am coming out of seasonal and emotional hibernation? There is a new
energy, a shift, a feeling of wanting to run barefoot through a meadow, while
the man of my dreams chases me. I imagine this will pass by June, but for now,
I am drawing deep breaths, contemplating new adventures with a new attitude.
Can a relationship exist without passion? Can it last? These are the questions
that will always be asked, they are timeless, just like passion. Is it purely
chemical and will it always fade? For me it looks differently now. Passion is
now not just physical or chemical, it is soulful. It is about being heard,
understood and maybe even affirmed. Passion is great, but intimacy is better.
Intimacy, can continue to grow, when the initial passion fades. I think passion
is the force that pushes us towards each other, and intimacy is the glue that
keeps us there. Intimacy can be created anytime two people exchange feelings,
and those feelings are honored. These feelings do not even have to be agreed
on, just heard. Anytime two people can come together in the spirit of mutual
respect to hear the other, there is an oppotunity to create an even deeper
connection. This is a learned skill, and one that many people don’t have. They
are so filled with ego, defensiveness and fear, that they can not be an open
channel. This is not their fault, they are just not capable. My mistake has
been trying to change other people instead of making better decisions and
changing myself.
This morning it came to me, that as long as I stay attached to the passion,
how it takes me away from ME, how it feels so good to be captivated and swept
away, then the passion is in control, and will continually have to be
replicated. I hate reading about becoming disciplined about passion. I have
taken offense I guess, because I need/needed the lesson. Anytime we are
attached to something that has to be continually replaced, other than food water
and shelter, then we are indebted to that feeling. This is true of being
chemically altered in anyway, including that new passion that puts the sizzle in
our veins. Believe me, no one hates having to look at this more than I, but it
is a part of my story that has to be healed.
At Greek funerals they did not speak of achievements of the deceased, but of
their level of passion. This kind of passion is not to be confused with the kind
of passion that consumes us in the beginning of relationships. I cannot live
without passion, for the people I love, the way the air feels in the spring, the
way the rain sounds right now on my roof, the way a baby smiles at you, the way
the sun shines through fall leaves, the way my first cup of coffee tastes, the
way I feel when I see an old couple walking and still holding hands. I am
passionate about all of that, which is not to be confused with that new crazy
love passion, that always seems to fade. We can all only hope that when our
biology regains its composure, and we land on our feet, that intimacy replaces
that original fire. Although all fires go out eventually, except for the Olympic
torch, that what we have left, is a warm fireplace to sit around, while holding
hands, sharing our deepest fears and aspirations with the same person we
originally fell in love with.
My God, what is happening to me? I feel like Danielle Steel, and I think
hear the theme to “Love Story” in my head. I think I better go clean the garage
now.
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